The shoes that should fit

Most of us know how it feels to be in a position of high expectations. If others have high hopes in you, based on a comparison to another person's achievements, it can be particularly intimidating and seem like that mountain that is impossible to climb. Why? Because you are expected to fill someone else's shoes. And that could pretty much affect any area of your life.

For example, in your relationships. Imagine your partner comparing you to previous relationships they have had. Or when you start a new job and have to replace the person that was there before you. In your family, if you have to uphold the legacy of another family member - and the list goes on. So, by trying to fulfill all of these expectations, very often the focus shifts from the things of actual significance to the things that shouldn't be our focus at all. 

 

The reason why stepping into someone else's shoes shouldn't be your focus is because you haven't even succeeded in filling the most significant shoes yet: your own! Why would you try filling someone else's shoes if they were never meant to fit in the first place?  "Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else." Galatians 6:4 NLT When you step up to resume a position someone else has left, you are expected to be the best version of you and not of that other person that is gone. There are always best practices to copy or positive things to imitate, but anyone expecting you to be another or even better version of that other person should think again. There is a reason why you are here now, and the other person is not, and that is the way you should approach it - by filling your own shoes and creating your legacy, regardless of people's expectations.

 

Moreover, you should be fully occupied with trying to fulfill your own expectations. An honest assessment of your life will make you realize that the person with the highest expectations in you, is actually yourself. Have you indeed achieved all the goals you have set for yourself? If your answer to that question is "yes", then you either have not set goals that are challenging enough, or you have lost your drive and desire to achieve more. We live in a society that wants more constantly - unfortunately, mostly more of the wrong things. But the drive I am referring to is in the context of wanting to further develop and grow as a person. And that is something you should never stop striving for.

 

Thus, if you haven't fulfilled your own expectations, it is high time to refocus and concentrate on the things that really matter. People will always have expectations, but it is not your duty to fulfill those. Your job is to conduct yourself as the best version of yourself and usually that automatically leads to even exceeding what others expect from you. 

Don't get distracted by what people might expect from you but work on filling those shoes that fit because they are meant for you.

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Comments: 2
  • #1

    Richie (Friday, 24 August 2018 17:22)

    Absolutely awesome.. thanks very much for these words.

  • #2

    Lekan Afolabi (Saturday, 25 August 2018 03:51)

    Wow! Thanks for another inspiring and timely article. Keep it up Chii.