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  • Chii

Being the bigger person

I read an inspiring post on Facebook a while ago, about a lady who started succeeding in her business after she started leaving the "small fights for the small fighters." She stopped battling out little and unnecessary arguments with colleagues, in-laws and the other people she interacted with on a daily basis. Instead, she refocused her energy on her goals and dreams and eventually started seeing progress in the things she was passionate about. "Amazing, that's what I call inspiring!", I thought to myself and at the same time remembered the silly word battle that I had with a colleague at work, a few hours prior. "Ugh, I shouldn't have allowed his comment upset me, instead I should have been the bigger person." 

Not entirely satisfied with that conclusion, I wondered: "What about the moments you don't want to be the bigger or wiser person? What if you don't want to walk away but battle it out right there and then?" "Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end." Proverbs 29:11 NIV There it is! Think about the last time you fully gave into your anger and got into an argument. How did you feel afterwards? Uplifted, satisfied or improved in any way? Probably not. On the contrary, you might have even felt worse than before. It is good to speak your mind, but there is a huge difference between expressing yourself in love or engaging in a word battle out of anger. Furthermore, one scenario will bring real resolution, while the other will only create an uncomfortable atmosphere. Ever entered a room where some people had just had a serious argument? The energy in that place would be off and the atmosphere tense. The most uncomfortable way of being uncomfortable.  

I believe that fights should be for those who do it professionally. Boxers or UFC fighters, for example, who physically train to prepare for the next time they have to step into the ring. In this case, it's a sport - a profession. Apart from that, you should focus your energy on things that are uplifting. If you think about the unnecessary time and energy wasted on something usually minimal and meaningless, doesn't that make you wonder what you could achieve if the energy was channeled more wisely? So, next time you see conflict coming your way, do not only be the bigger but better, smarter and wiser person. It doesn't mean that you have keep silent and shouldn't speak your mind, but make sure you do it the right way. If you can think back at the incident and be proud of how you handled it, then you're on the right track. Anyone can lash out in anger, but it takes real maturity to be a peacemaker.

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