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  • Chii

If you were set up to fail - win!

There are situations you may find yourself in that are bound to fail from the very beginning. No matter how hard you try or the different manners of approach, everything seems to be working against you. How did you find yourself there? Well, there is no easy answer to that. Very often the wrong choices we have made put us in a position of "I really don't know where to go from here". Other times without your contribution, some may call it due to unfortunate circumstances, you find yourself in a state of struggling and not knowing the way out. So, what do you do? Keep struggling and fighting until exhaustion? Surrendering to the situation and giving up? No, to either option.

Are you aware that many times we step up to fight battles that are not ours to fight in the first place? For example, the perception of other people and what they think about us. I have often experienced prejudice solely because of my physical appearance - precisely, the color of my skin. There are so many incidents I could speak of where that was the case. Especially, in my professional life where I meet and interact with different people on a daily basis. At occasions where I schedule appointments with people who haven't met me before, usually there is this "Oh, I didn't expect you to be the one I spoke to on the phone"-reaction or just the obligatory five seconds pause when they meet me for the first time. I don't want to say I have gotten used to this reception but rather I have learned to brush it off and keep it professional. At the same time, it should be mentioned that this is not my experience all the time either. Yet, there is this sense of having to try harder to prove myself because I have been put in a position of not only representing myself but a whole collective of people that outwardly seems to share similarities with me. You can imagine the added pressure of trying to avoid mistakes not just to prevent yourself, but an entire group of people, from looking bad. Is that fair or justified? Not at all. And that is exactly what you should always keep in mind. You are not responsible for other people's predefined views and opinions. Thus, it is not your fight or burden to bear, to change people's minds. The task you were assigned is fulfilling your calling and focusing on being the best person you can be. That is also the job you are best qualified for. Now, does that mean that you shouldn't stand up for causes that supersede your interests as an individual? Of course not. There is always a greater cause worth standing up for. Nonetheless, you shouldn't feel like you have the responsibility to fight a battle that is not really yours to fight because that's when you'll find yourself struggling and running out of energy while focusing on the wrong things.

Another reason why you might be struggling is that you are not walking in your truth. This means that you are doing things you ought not to, respectively were not equipped to do in the first place - things that are not part of your strong traits. There are countless people out there who dislike their current jobs but still keep going on for years, not knowing how to break the cycle of dreading Mondays and looking forward to Fridays. They struggle to stay motivated and to find the alternative they would finally derive joy from. There are countless reasons why these people remain there: fear of the unknown, financial restraints or even being too comfortable for change. What people in such situations tend to lose sight of is that time is precious and cannot be regained. Thus, if you are in a similar situation, ask yourself how much more of this valuable commodity you would want to give away. 

To close the loop on how this is connected to being in a difficult situation is easy. If you remember my blog post Let go and let God, there I touched on the fact that many situations can only be fixed when we redirect our gaze from around us to above us. "Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need." Matthew 6:33 NLT When you allow God to take control, it equals you taking back control of the things that seemed to be in complete chaos before. Don't allow anyone or anything set you up for failure!

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