"That is unfortunate." is something we must have heard on several occasions throughout our lives. Words that should express that we wish things would have turned out another way, but they did not. What if that wasn't unfortunate but the greatest thing ever? We tend to consider things being unfortunate when we envisioned them a certain way, but then they turned out another. Does that mean just because you never thought about that alternative scenario, that it is terrible?
“If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all.” Many of us are familiar with this saying and interpret it in different ways. Some consider it a poisonous practice of internalizing negative things to avoid conflict instead of facing problems directly. Others consider it a way of diplomacy and focusing on the positive rather than just pointing out the negative.
"She's living her best life!", that was the caption I read on Instagram underneath a picture that was posted of Angela Bassett. The post was solely about how amazing she looked for her age and her sense of fashion and style, but this got me thinking about something else. There was something that caught my attention about "living your best life". Not really about living your best life on the outside but within yourself.
A few days ago, my husband and I traveled to the "city of love", Paris. And I was super-excited not for the sake of the destination but because of the occasion. And the occasion was not an anniversary or birthday, the occasion was simply: Remembering us! Let me explain...
At some point in life we all encounter that one person that pushes our buttons. A particular person that seems to be constantly teasing or even mocking us. That person that makes us feel scrutinized or even judged at all times. That unwanted adversary that appears to be in constant competition with us. Someone you want to - just have to prove yourself to.
Making decisions can be frightening. "Should I choose door 1, 2 or 3, should I go left or right, should I say yes or no?". And the scariest part about decisions is not even making one but dealing with the consequences. That is the aspect most people fear. What if after making a decision, you discover that it was not what you really wanted, in fact, what you want is with the opportunity you turned down - at least from the outside it appears so.
We all understand the importance of having a goal and working towards something you want to achieve. However, what often seems to be forgotten is that it is equally important to be specific with the things we want.
Take yourself for example, if someone would ask you what you want to achieve in 10 years, what would your answer be? To be rich, to be successful, to have found the cure to a disease? These goals are all good and logical but they are not specific.
Trials and tribulations are a reality and part of life. In James 1:2-3 NIV it says: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." That means when we pass through difficulties and go through the process it helps to build us up. In essence, the struggle is real and for our benefit! So, suffering is good. Struggling is good = all good! Not so fast...
I recently read an interview with the music artist Kelis that was published on HuffPost Black Voices. In the interview, she talked about her previous relationship with the rapper Nas. Spoiler alert! This article might touch on some things that may be difficult to understand for people who don't listen to hip-hop music and are not familiar with the culture surrounding it, that is why I encourage you, even more, to continue reading.
Naturally receiving always seems the more profitable than being in the position of the giver. Just imagine you're enjoying family Christmas and everyone is exchanging gifts. As you hand out one gift after another, you discover that you're the only that did not receive any Christmas gift at all - ouch! Not a great place to be in. Then it seems more profitable to put yourself in the position of being the recipient always instead of being the giver.